


Detention

by orphan_account



Series: Winter in My Heart (re-posted) [3]
Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-03
Updated: 2015-01-03
Packaged: 2020-04-06 02:41:11
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,318
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19053592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account





	Detention

The entire way to school Ned makes sure that Sansa knows that she better not mess up again and that she’d better not end up in detention ever again. Sansa wants to point out that this is the second to last weekend before graduation but she chooses to stay mum lest she anger her father into actually punishing her.

When they pull into school Ned gives her one final stern look before dropping her off. Sansa debates waiting around for Margaery at the front of the school but when she looks down at her watch she sees that she's only got five minutes before detention is supposed to start and being late to detention is a sure fire way to end up with another Saturday morning detention. So with one last glance around at the empty drop off zone, Sansa heads inside. 

When she gets to the classroom where detention is being held Margaery is already there, her head buried in a biology textbook. When Margaery lifts her head to speak to Sansa, she's immediately reprimanded by the teacher sitting at the front of the room. 

"Take your own table at the back of the room Ms. Stark and please begin doing your work."

With a regretful smile at Margaery, Sansa moves to the back of the classroom and pulls out her work. 

-

About an hour into their four hour detention period the teacher finally allows them to get up and stretch their legs. Sansa stands to talk to Margaery in their short break. 

"Hey! Sansa! Hey!" Renly Baratheon shuffles between the desks and over to Sansa. 

Sansa forces a small smile at him, "Renly. Hi."

Renly grins brightly and laughs a bit as though seeing Sansa is an unbelievable occurance. 

"I never thought I would see you in detention."

Sansa shakes her head. Her good girl reputation apparently isn’t limited to her family, "I never thought I would be here if I'm honest."

"I heard something about a flask in class?" Renly scrunches his face up as though he’s disapproving but he breaks out an easy smile after a second. 

"I would- how did you hear about that?" Sansa stumbles over her own words. She shouldn’t be surprised at how fast the news has traveled; gossip is something that their school specializes in. 

"Loras overheard his grandmother's talk with Margaery. And told me about it. I thought he was mistaken when he told me it was you with Margaery. You and Margaery huh?” 

As Renly talks Sansa feels a sense of dread grow inside her. She’s pretty sure that Renly thinks she’s gay. Sansa’s heart rate picks up but Renly unaware of Sansa’s inner plight continues, “I never figured you for a-"

Sansa hurriedly cuts him off, "I'm not."

"What do you mean?" Renly cocks his head to the side, confused. 

Sansa takes a deep breath before uttering, "I'm not gay."

She’s not sure why it makes her heart clench or makes her stomach feel like it’s churning but she tries to ignore it. 

Renly pauses and just looks at Sansa long and hard for a moment before continuing, "That's not what I was going to say. I was going to say that I never figured you for a liquor in class kind of person."

Sansa opens her mouth to reply again but before she can get any words out the teacher comes back into the classroom and ushers everyone back to their seats with a hard stare around the class. Renly gives her a smile before heading back to his seat. Sansa allows her eyes to travel up towards Margaery but when Margaery waves at her, Sansa just looks away without smiling or waving. 

-

Sansa knows that she should be okay with being gay. Hell, her brothers were fine with it and yesterday she was fine with it too. Her parents raised her in a fairly liberal house and they're not religious so it's not as though she's learned homophobia from her parents. 

But it's different when someone she doesn't even know very well, like Renly, already knows that she's whatever...gay or something. She can't help but feel waves of shame wash over her when she thinks about being gay. And when she thinks about coming out and having people know...her stomach churns unpleasantly. 

She raises her hand and gestures toward the bathroom. The teacher begrudgingly lets her go with a 'don't take too long' and a glare. 

Sansa runs to the bathroom and straight for a stall. She falls to her knees, dry heaving and trying to breathe deeply. But all she can hear ringing in her head is her ex-boyfriend and ex-tormenter, Joffery's voice over and over. The words, "You're worthless. You're just a plaything. You're not normal," ring out in her head over and over and over again. 

Her breathing comes shallow and quick and Sansa just curls up and rocks back and forth. She feels like she can't breathe and like the entire bathroom is stifling her. And all she can hear is Joffery's words echoing around her mind. 

Sansa is so distracted that she doesn't notice that someone else has entered the bathroom until they have their arms around her. From the smell and the soothing voice Sansa can tell it's Margaery. 

Margaery just whispers, 'you're okay' and 'you're fine' over and over in Sansa's ear until Sansa's breathing slows and her cheeks dry. Margaery is running her hands up and down Sansa's arms and Sansa can't help but lean into her. It isn't until a couple minutes later when Sansa feels really back to normal that she realizes that she's supposed to be in detention and that Margaery is supposed to be there too. 

Sansa scrambles up and away from Margaery so that she's standing up against the wall in the stall furthest from Margaery. 

"Aren't you supposed to be in detention?"

Margaery frowns at Sansa’s combative stance, "The teacher sent me to look for you and bring you back since you'd been gone a while. What did Renly say to you?"

Sansa relaxes just a bit before answering, "We should get back. I don't want to get another detention."

"Are you sure you're okay, sweets?" Margaery’s hand goes up to caress Sansa’s hair but when Sansa flinches away Margaery drops her hand. 

Sansa’s eyes dart around trying to find a place to look that isn’t Margaery’s face, "The teacher's probably missing us."

"What happened? What did Renly say to you darling?" Margaery doesn’t try to come any closer this time but instead softens her voice despite the hurt still evident on her face. 

Sansa shakes her head emphatically, too emphatically, "Nothing. He didn't say a thing."

Margaery’s eyebrows scrunch up and normally Sansa would notice how cute Margaery looked when she was thinking, but Sansa is still feeling the after effects of her panic attack, "Are you sure because you looked pretty upset after you talked to him."

 

"It's nothing. I'm fine," Sansa reiterates with another shake of her head. 

And with that, Sansa pushes past Margaery and walks back out the bathroom leaving Margaery standing alone in the bathroom. Margaery runs after her and catches up to Sansa right as they enter the classroom. 

The teacher just sends them a suspicious look but says nothing. Sansa glances at Renly who gives her a sympathetic smile and Sansa averts her eyes quickly. 

-

When the teacher dismisses them at the end of detention Sansa doesn't waste any time in packing up her things. She hurries towards the front of the school and her dad's car. She's nearly at the end of the hallway when Renly comes up next to her and all but drags her into an abandoned classroom. 

As soon as they’re in the room he speaks, "I freaked out too you know...when Loras and I first started. I was scared out of my mind. I thought something was wrong with me. Like somehow I was broken because I'd spent all those years making fun of exactly who I was."

"I'm not gay. And I'm not freaking out. I'm fine Renly, really." Sansa can feel the panic coming back a bit. Her heart is pounding against her rib cage again and her hands are starting to feel clammy. Every time she says the words ‘I’m not gay’ she feels her stomach churn unpleasantly as though it rejects the words. 

Renly acquiesces, "Maybe you're not gay. Maybe you're straight. Maybe you're bi. Maybe whatever you feel for Marg is just a phase. It doesn't matter to me. But I just want you to know that whatever, whoever you are and whenever you figure that out, you're going to be okay."

Renly’s words are actually working and Sansa can feel her heart rate slowing and her fists unclenching, "How can you know that?"

"Because you're Sansa Stark. You're smart and artistic and one of the most athletic cheerleaders on the team. You're good to people and you're nice. You do the right thing. And Marg, she really likes you. I know it's scary, I've been there and it's okay." Renly smiles through his speech and awkwardly pats Sansa’s elbow for a minute. 

"I don't want to be different. Not like that. Not like this." Sansa whispers it, her face full of shame and a little fear. 

Renly takes a deep breath and then says, "It's our differences that make us special. I know it's a cheesy cliche that everyone tells you. Regardless, it's true. Okay?"

Sansa nods slowly. 

"And if you want to talk about it you know where to find me okay?"

Sansa nods again and forces a smile before heading out the door. The hallways are empty (thank god) and Sansa rushes for the door, eager to get home and When Ned sees her he smiles and waves her into the car. 

"Are you okay Sansa?" 

Hearing her dad’s voice instantly grounds her and makes her feel better. The low rumble of his voice steadies her and gets her heart rate back to normal. 

"I had a panic attack." Sansa confesses quietly, a little ashamed that after all this time she still has them. 

Ned shows nothing but concern for his eldest daughter, "What happened? Do you want me to make another appointment with your doctor?"

Sansa says nothing but just leans over the center console and hugs her father tightly. Ned strokes her hair and kisses her forehead. She knows that her dad can tell that something is bothering her but he’s tactful enough to let her tell him on her own time. 

"Whatever it is, I love you no matter what. And if you want to talk about it, I'll be here."

Sansa enjoys the way his voice sounds when her head is on his chest. It takes away all the rough edges from his voice and makes him sound even softer and more comforting than he already is. 

"Thanks dad."

Sansa is grateful that her dad came to pick her up. He's always been more understanding of what she needs when she panics in a way that her mother is not. Her mother is a talker and freely speaks her mind. And while Arya takes after Catelyn in that way, after Joffery, Sansa had been more loathe to share her feelings. 

She wants to tell her dad about Margaery about the way she feels and the way Margaery makes her feel good about herself. Sansa can feel the need to tell her dad about how great Margaery is bubble up and cover all the fear and the shame she had felt. With her dad beside her she feels a sense of bravery she doesn’t feel when she’s alone. 

When her dad cuts the engine to his truck he pauses for a moment before unbuckling his seat belt. Sansa knows that she has to take this chance. If she tells her dad it might help with her panic attacks. She won’t be so scared that anyone could find out about her. She knows she’s got to talk through it to take away the shame she associates with it (or at least that’s what her psych textbook tells her). 

"Dad? I like Margaery Tyrell. I think I might be-" Sansa takes a deep breath, "I think I'm gay."

Ned leans over the center console and hugs her fiercely, "I love you Sansa."

They stay like that for a minute. It feels like a weight has been lifted off her now that her dad knows. She doesn’t feel panicked when she thinks about how Renly knows and how Loras probably knows too. She doesn’t feel her stomach clench and no bile creeps up her throat when she thinks the words ‘I am gay’ to herself. She repeats those words to herself a couple more times, each time feeling more and more comfortable with the words.

"She had better be a nice girl." Ned breaks Sansa out of her reverie.

Sansa smiles brightly when she thinks of Margaery, "She's the nicest."

Ned grumbles, "I want to meet her. Make sure she knows what's what."

"Dad! I'm not even dating her yet.” Sansa exclaims scandalised.

“Well what are you waiting for.”

Sansa pauses thoughtfully before answering. She remembers the way Margaery had looked so hurt when she had flinched away from her in the bathroom. And she remembers the way she’d dismissed and ignored Margaery. 

“I think- I may have messed it up.” Sansa admits with a tinge of shame. 

Ned nods once and then says like it’s the most obvious, easy thing in the world, “Then you fix it. Starks right their wrongs okay?”

Sansa manages a small smile, “Honor and all that. I know dad.”

They both sit in the car a minute longer basking in their father daughter bonding time before exiting the quiet of the car for the mess and noise of the house.


End file.
